By

Allison McMahon
Buster Bluth missing a hand
The first time I saw a telephone in a car (I’m lookin’ at you, Mr. Rosier), I thought I’d died and gone to Rich People Heaven. Anytime I see a photo from the latest camera, I wonder how pictures could ever be clearer than they are at this very moment. I think of the days...
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cat mug shot
I often come across things that make me think, “whose job is it to come up with this stuff?” Like, flavor descriptions on Vitamin Water labels, or paint color names (just what color is Anonymous?). It’s usually followed up with a “how can I get that job?”
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bridal gown
Are you caught in the Alfred Angelo aftermath? We have some ideas to help you still comfortably(ish) find your way to the altar.
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daria
For senior year yearbook superlatives, I was in the running for Most Pessimistic, only to be outdone by Betsy and, ultimately, Emily (congratulations, bitches!). I was a real-life version of Daria, without the badass boots and with much thinner hair. I preferred to play Nintendo in the basement rather than socialize with my peers. When...
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quitting job
I loved the people. I loved the company. I loved the food. Ohh, how I loved the food. Hell, I even loved my actual job. But my time was up. And, although I couldn’t pinpoint the reason, after 6 and a half secure years, it was time to move on.
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pizza
You might not have pizza on the brain as often as I do, but I think we can all agree that the guy on the street waving a Little Caesar's sign has a way about him. If I see him out there enthusiastically promoting his brand, you bet your ass I stop in for a...
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Sleeping at desk
With all the content punching us in the face at every turn, click, and swipe, we barely have time to take in a Tweet without having to move on. Read an entire article? Forget it.
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calendar
There's a day for everything. I’m not just referring to, like, Taco Tuesday, but an actual nationally recognized, on-some-legit-calendars day. Today, for example, is Brother's Day. Come on.
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