Chess is Stupid

We learned one of two things yesterday. Either Becky is an undiscovered prodigy that missed her true calling, or I am just straight up awful at chess. Like toddler awful. Within three games of explaining the basic rules to her, she very matter-of-factly sat down and whipped my ass. “But Corey,” you ask tenderly, “what happened to your queen?” Well my friend, instead of heeding the warnings of the tiny Ben Kingsley in my head, I opted for mini-Lawrence Fishburne’s advice to “bring her out.” Yeah, I’ll bring her out! I’m setting her up! This is easy.

I really don’t get it. I test off the charts in checkers. And Chinese checkers. Screw this.